The Ideal Age Gap For A Healthy Sex Life Isn’t What You’d Expect

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An older 2012 study focused on couples from Hong Kong and published in The Journal of Sex Research noted a 2- to 4-year age gap (where the husband was older) as being the best in terms of sexual satisfaction for men. Despite such research, experts maintain that these disparities and how they affect your sex life cannot be spoken of in general terms. Speaking to POPSUGAR, Dr. Justin Lehmiller, psychologist and sex researcher at the Kinsey Institute, said, “People tend to project a lot of assumptions onto age-gap relationships, such as assuming that older partners are going to have lower libidos or that age differences necessarily create a dominant-submissive dynamic. However, the reality is that there’s vast individual variability and different age-gap relationships might have very different sexual dynamics.” 

Your sex drive is influenced by a lot of factors. How you were brought up, your religious values, past sexual experiences, your views on sexual expression, hormones, medications, underlying diseases, and relational problems all come into play. While age can play a role, this doesn’t always mean a disinterest in sex. A healthy sex life as you age is not uncommon. In fact, experts say age gaps can sometimes even enhance things. For example, Dr. Lehmiller said “sometimes it’s the a younger person saying that being with an older, more experienced partner is great because they’re sexually confident, good at sex, and invested in providing pleasure.” Or there could be better compatibility, libido-wise, between an older and younger partner. Does this mean age gap is never a concern? Not quite. 



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